evelynhoney (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} evelynhoney) wrote,@ 2005-02-09 01:48:00 |
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Pumpkin, orange hair, and depression
I really have only ever updated this for myself and I have been so busy, apparently the only time I have to update even for myself is 1:30 a.m. on a Wednesday morning when I took off work because I had a fever.
Good things:
*last semester of college for my MLIS
*applied for a job in house at Dallas Morning News
*Have a kitty for my birthday named pumpkin
Good/Bad things:
*orange haired nephew moved in. Good mostly, although he moved here because my mom couldn't deal with him. He and Kevin don't get along and I love him to death. Although Kevin sometimes sticks up for him in odd situations. Like not telling me about the time Brady had a cut and he thought it would be funny to write his name in BLOOD on the bathroom wall.
*Pumpkins claws actually give me rashes, but we got these plastic things for them so he can't scratch, and he gets to keep his limbs from being amputated by "declawing."
*with full time work and full time school and 120 hour practicum am too busy. But strangely, have gotten more stuff done around the house. I guess because I've been prioritizing. But then that is probably what weakened my immunity to things.
Bad things:
*marriage- it is much harder than I remember it from five years ago. And I'm even talking about the throwing the spaghetti sauce jar at the window when you find out he's cheating on you kind of stuff. This time it isn't cheating though. Its arrogance and laziness and general selfishness. He even admits he's a fuck up and then just sits there and fucks up some more. How much longer am I supposed to take this shit? It sucks hardcore. I swore this would be the last time and I would make it work, but I've babied, cajoled, threatened, cried, laughed it off, and nothing works on him. Absolutely fucking nothing. On top of that, 5 or 6 hundred dollars on a therapist for him that even made him more jerky.
*marriage- did I say marriage? because when I got my fever Monday night he had the nerve to say that I "always want to be babied" and then started groaning that he was sick after having limited contact with my fevered body for 30 minutes. So not only did I not have anyone to make me feel better, I also had thing next to me groaning that he was going to die because I germed him up.
*depression- I've always been a kind of manic depressive person that is able to hide it pretty well to people that do not know me intimately. But depression has come back with a vengeance and im not gonna take the pills or the alcohol in sufficient amounts to relieve the depression.
*Valentines day- Kev's friend Jarrod just reminded me on AIM. Kevin is opening his new anime store with his friend on Valentines day. They decided on that day. And they both thought it was funny I guess. Jarrod said it was probably Navin and Kevin's gifts to each other, so they don't have to be near their significant others.
God I am so whiny.
I really have only ever updated this for myself and I have been so busy, apparently the only time I have to update even for myself is 1:30 a.m. on a Wednesday morning when I took off work because I had a fever.
Good things:
*last semester of college for my MLIS
*applied for a job in house at Dallas Morning News
*Have a kitty for my birthday named pumpkin
Good/Bad things:
*orange haired nephew moved in. Good mostly, although he moved here because my mom couldn't deal with him. He and Kevin don't get along and I love him to death. Although Kevin sometimes sticks up for him in odd situations. Like not telling me about the time Brady had a cut and he thought it would be funny to write his name in BLOOD on the bathroom wall.
*Pumpkins claws actually give me rashes, but we got these plastic things for them so he can't scratch, and he gets to keep his limbs from being amputated by "declawing."
*with full time work and full time school and 120 hour practicum am too busy. But strangely, have gotten more stuff done around the house. I guess because I've been prioritizing. But then that is probably what weakened my immunity to things.
Bad things:
*marriage- it is much harder than I remember it from five years ago. And I'm even talking about the throwing the spaghetti sauce jar at the window when you find out he's cheating on you kind of stuff. This time it isn't cheating though. Its arrogance and laziness and general selfishness. He even admits he's a fuck up and then just sits there and fucks up some more. How much longer am I supposed to take this shit? It sucks hardcore. I swore this would be the last time and I would make it work, but I've babied, cajoled, threatened, cried, laughed it off, and nothing works on him. Absolutely fucking nothing. On top of that, 5 or 6 hundred dollars on a therapist for him that even made him more jerky.
*marriage- did I say marriage? because when I got my fever Monday night he had the nerve to say that I "always want to be babied" and then started groaning that he was sick after having limited contact with my fevered body for 30 minutes. So not only did I not have anyone to make me feel better, I also had thing next to me groaning that he was going to die because I germed him up.
*depression- I've always been a kind of manic depressive person that is able to hide it pretty well to people that do not know me intimately. But depression has come back with a vengeance and im not gonna take the pills or the alcohol in sufficient amounts to relieve the depression.
*Valentines day- Kev's friend Jarrod just reminded me on AIM. Kevin is opening his new anime store with his friend on Valentines day. They decided on that day. And they both thought it was funny I guess. Jarrod said it was probably Navin and Kevin's gifts to each other, so they don't have to be near their significant others.
God I am so whiny.
